A Good Father - Lifts, Listens, & Loves

6/19/2009

When you hear the word “Father”… what images come to mind?  My Dad, I held him in awe.. a medic in Korea, a very successful baseball player before and after the war, but he didn’t laugh much. As a kid I do remember some fun times, wrestling on the floor, smelling his Bryl Cream and Aqua Velva… laughing as he rubbed his stubby beard on us.  Now I’m the dad, the words “you are going to be a Father!” bring especially warm feelings… since we were told we could not have children and ended up with so many.  As a father, I am overwhelmed with the role and responsibilities to protect and prepare .  What is a good Father, what am I supposed to do, especially if it wasn’t modeled for us.

The power of a good example cannot be underestimated. Not to dump on my dad,  his generation wasn’t big on affection. I don’t recall a time when he said “I LOVE YOU”  … I do remember the only time he shook my hand, it was at my wedding.. when he told my brand new wife to “Take care of this knucklehead!” I found out at his funeral, how proud he was of me as many of his ballplaying buddies and co-workers shared how he updated them on my shows and stuff, but he never told me. ( didn’t want me to get a big head-! he said !) But if you want to learn, learn from the best, so lets look at our Heavenly Father as our example.

A good Father LEADS.  Someone said relating to teaching our kids- “more stuff is caught then taught”  One of my favorite comedians Justin Fennell,  had a great message on the last devotional about God’s Affection, Acceptance, and Affinity for His Son.  That is not just for Jesus, it is all of us.  He loves us, rejoices over us, knows our fears and our tears.   In Proverbs there are great instructions from a Father.  The phrase “My son, My son” is scattered through out the book.  The heart of a Father that wanted his son to prosper, avoid calamity, gain honor.  There is a ton of wisdom that if applied… “things will go well with you!”  A good Father wants his kids to succeed. As the old southern pastor said.. “ we need to Lead’em, and Learn’em!  God wants it for us, we dads need to make sure our kids know we are on their side, and want was is best for them .  So tell them !!

A good Father LISTENS !  We didn’t talk much at our dinner table… certainly there was no fooling around…and some subjects were certainly taboo. But, our Heavenly Father invites us to talk to Him anytime, anywhere, about anything.  Psalm 4;3, 40: 1   116: 1-2 are but a few of the places that remind us that God is listening !!  John 11: 42 records the words of Jesus saying to his DAD, “I KNOW that You hear me !!”    I also see in Scripture where God asks questions a lot.  Questions are great to get those silent types to open up… to probe an issue, to get a dialogue going?  Sadly Dr. Dobson says the average dad spends less then a minute a week in real conversation with his kids! Dads, we need to go beyond the normal… “what did you do today?”  Don’t settle for the typical “NOTHING” . Learn to ask good questions, specific questions… then be careful not to condemn the answers if you want to keep the dialogue going.

A Good Father LIFTS them up !   Ephesians says dads are not to “provoke their kids to wrath.” But how do we encourage? The Psalmist tells  us God is the “lifter of our faces”…Pslam 3: 3.  He takes our face in his hands when we are down and helps us to look Him right in His loving eyes.  He calls us by name, and He calls us positive names. Look at Judges 6: 12… Gideon is hiding in a well.. and God calls him a “MIGHTY WARRIOR !” He sees beyond our flaws to what He is calling us to be !!  WOW !!

Bill Glass prison ministries said “ there are 40,000 men on death row… on 6 are Jews!”   What are they doing different?  We joke about pushy Jewish moms, but dads that build up and affirm reap great harvest.  Another prison pastor said, he never met a single inmate who had a good relationship with his dad ! Not one!

Finally,  a good Father LOVES !  It is the heart of our New Covenant.. found summarized in II Cor. 6:16-18.  “I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters” He loves us with an everlasting love. ( Jer. 31: 31)  This love is spoken, this love is shown . (Romans 8: 32)  This love can be called TOUGH LOVE   Heb 12: 6 reminds us that our Father in Heaven will discipline “those He loves”. 

To all the dads out there.. Happy Father’s day!  LEAD your kids by example, get the conversations started and LISTEN.  Learn to be a good encourager and LIFT them up.  And when it comes to LOVE… say it and show it.

For all of us… no matter how good or bad our earthly dad was.  Know for sure that our Heavenly Father is there for us, and He will never love us anymore then He does today !  Don’t try to earn it, you can’t- learn to receive it and enjoy it!